Day 45: Eat Feces and Lose Weight

I’m not quite sure how I feel about the signs all over the building I work in that say “Mr. Sprout is the biggest loser!”

In the parking lot on my way into work yesterday, a lady I didn’t really know shouted at me. “Hey Sprout!” she said (we call each other by our last names), “How did you lose them 11 pounds?” She is pretty overweight and was really excited about learning my secret.

“Simple,” I said, “I quit eating junk, I reduced the portion sizes of the food that wasn’t junk and just started exercising a little bit.”

As soon as she heard the word exercise, the smile disappeared from her face. “Oh,” she said dismissively. She turned and got in her car without another word. From her tone and the disgusted look on her face you’d think I said, “Well, I just started eating my own feces and molesting kittens.”

The truth is, until 3-4 days ago, I wasn’t even really trying. All I did was:

1. quit eating crap
2. only eat the portion size I needed
3. exercised a minimal amount

And I lost 15 lbs in a little over five weeks.